The Dear Old Days When I Could Fly

by SLIGHTLY

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credits

released October 25, 2013

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SLIGHTLY Colorado Springs, Colorado

Hello there. I'm called Slightly. I make what many call "Rock and Roll," and one man inexplicably called "Neo-Ecclectic Bimodal Chip Talk." If you are reading this, odds are you are a close friend or my mother. And that's okay. I'm no big deal.

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Track Name: Smile, Friend (feat. This Is The Giant)
Don’t let it go. Don’t let yourself be alone. You are not alone, and I don’t want you to be alone. You’re quiet, waiting, sitting somber in the basement, just waiting for your knight in shining armor. But He’s already come, he’s come to sweet you off your feet, so don’t let that hope go. You are not alone. Open your eyes. You are not alone, and you’re not the only one who cries. See, letting go is big, so hold on for just one more day, and then one more day, and then one more day. Sometimes three days is just what it takes to bring hope. But still, if three days isn’t enough, don’t let go. Sometimes it takes believing in hope to bring hope, and I know where hope comes from. Do you want to know where hope comes from?

Just let it go. You’ve never needed anyone the way you need him now. Gasping… gasping… you choke backwards. And depression’s setting in. Now there’s nothing you can do. Something grips at you; crooked vultures thrusting hips for you. They want everything you’ve got, but it’s not yours to give, and everything you did was all for something more, something big. So please, please, I’m begging you, don’t give them what they want. The same lies coming every day seem ever new, but when your eyes are shut, his eyes are watching over you. And his eyes, those eyes burn deep into your soul until your eyes burn too. My eyes are burning

And it’s beautiful, what’s happening here; love I’ve only heard rumors of. He’s set passion in me. Visions and hopes for this world are burning into this heart that I’d given up on, but here comes my God whispering. I’m not forgotten. I would’ve given up long ago. I guess that’s just the mystery. And this is the love who rewrites history. One more breath and one more life, but these aren’t creations by accident. What we thought was reflex is truly something heaven sent. My life is spent. My knees are bent. You flood the world with innocence, but never again quite like that. This time it’s fire. This time it’s love. There’s only hope left in our fear. So cries those tears. Let oceans flow. Tears of joy and tears of pain and tears of hope, and you’re always smiling. Because we know how this fight ends, don’t we, friend?

We win.
Track Name: Bigger
Bring me to my knees again. Lift my chin. I’m glad I’m not an orphan anymore. Weary me. When it was time to be free, I hid and I lost you. I’d fight for me, but I’m asleep. You found me on the roadside crying, I thought that it was dying. And me, you could make me clean. You would bring relief and redeem all the things that I’ve done.

But I’m bigger. I’m bigger than I used to be.
I’m bigger than I’d let myself believe.

You be the one that all the skinny kids refuse to play with. You be the one that shows them who they never want to be. You be the one and carry on and carry on and carry on and wait for real life to finally come along. Time brings her to mind. It’s a chasm, and he’s not who he needs to be. What he wants and what he wishes, and the space between. I’d fight for me, but I’m asleep. You found me on the roadside crying, I thought that it was dying. And me, you could make me clean. You would bring relief and redeem all the things that I’ve done.

But I’m bigger. I’m bigger than I used to be.
I’m bigger than I’d let myself believe.
Track Name: A Wooden Army
Behold: the truth of poverty. You’ve lied your last, now will the lady come with me? One thousand wooden cavalry. This is the end.

Injustice finds a home, I see. Injustice laced in every bitter breath you breathe. Belies your heritage of peace. This is the end.

On trial for all your lies and sinful hopes, you’re out of rope. And carry on your wayward goals, you hold and hold and hold. Behold the truth of poverty. This is the end.
Track Name: Peter
He’s the intrepid one, holds fast to all he knows. Watch him as he tries to grow. He runs faster than anyone. He’s the intrepid one, arrived here on his own. He doesn’t trust. He doesn’t trust. He doesn’t trust anyone. He grew up fast and he grew up strong. Without a dad it don’t take long. On a priceless gust of wind, holding tight to his carpet ride, he was swept away, come to his new home.

He can’t remember what it was like In his past life. He can’t remember his past life, what it was like before he held his first knife.

He hates the things they say to him, shouts from beneath their bridges. It’s chaos and it’s heartbreak and he’s only twelve years old. He knows the forecast and he needs some bread now and he held the key once in a dream that washed away. And he built a wall, but they’d never let him anyway. They never loved him anyway. They made him run there anyway. His spirit’s gonna fade away if magic don’t come soon. His head is harder than anyone and he’s seen the deep maroon. He’s seen blood and fear, stole the key to his life story. His eyes dried up at fourteen and he prayed they’d just ignore him. He let loose cannons and he met his love, and he blew it and he lost it and tried to get above. Sticks and stones, broken molds, lost cause, lost hope. He lost home and he found home and he’d never be alive again.

He can’t remember what it was like in his past life. He can’t remember his past life, what it was like before he held his first knife.

He’s the intrepid one. These little kids need him now. It’s time to be the big man. It’s time to be the one. He’s the intrepid one. He leads them into battle. Saddle up, kid, put your work boots on. Loved a girl once, and he knew they’d be together forever, but the weather couldn’t resist. His lonely Sunday morning when his storm arrived… It’s probably best he can’t remember her as he looks this pirate right into his eyes.
Track Name: To Hope Of Love
Lady I want. Lady I could have, I could hold you close. I could cherish you till my last breath says goodbye and takes me home. Oh, how I wish that she might hear me sing, “Baby, you inspire me, leave me dreaming of a lifetime with a love that knows the stream, and guides my eyes always to the mouth of the river so I can pour out all of me.”

But darkness comes with twilight; the beauty of a sunset marred by fear of what it brings. I find the night might find me restless and steal away my dreams.

Lady I want. Lady I could have, I could hold you close. I could cherish you till my last breath says goodbye and takes me home. Do I want her to be happy? Do I want her to be free? God, how I wish I could give her to you and still have her for me. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I want. No, I know exactly what it is I want. It’s you there in my dreams.

But darkness comes with twilight; the beauty of a sunset marred by fear of what it brings. I find the night might find me restless and steal away my dreams.

Lady I want, I just wish that you would dream of me.
Track Name: One Foot Tied (feat. Millicent)
Nothing can go wrong today, when you look at me that way. People say that I’m not wise to find my future in your eyes.

Hold me tight. Ask me to stay just like this every passing day. Dry those tears falling from your eyes, because I have no feelings left to hide.

You have come and set me free. Finding you is finding me. And there’s no way that my mind can understand why you are mine.

Hold me tight. Ask me to stay just like this every passing day. Dry those tears falling from your eyes, ‘cause I have no feelings left to hide.

Unpacking thoughts in the place where we first met. Sidewalk chalk and a sun we hoped would never let us down.

I wrote to you that day I left, and every single day since. I went to bring you flowers and found myself alone instead. I ran. It must be real because fiction always makes the most sense. I looked at you and I lost myself and found me somewhere else. I never meant to leave you. It was chaos. It was wrong. One bound might cross and ocean; I built a home. I let it fall. And fall beneath the weight of all the lost words I’d dreamed of when I found my feet had taken me and found my way above. I found my dream had gone; love ran faster than I could run, and every place I looked for you I found empty and undone. And the roof collapsed and crushed me there all broken and alone; our empty house was everything we left it but a home. So I walked as fast as I could walk, as slowly as I could. Every ounce of energy I had I spent on you. I lost my faith in everyone and I wished I’d never left, but there’s one last hope to keep my wicked feet from wandering. I’ll keep one foot tied so I might stay with you and rest, find you again and get this planet off my chest. I’ll be still. I’ll be settled. I’ll be sober. I’ll be true. I’ll be everything I should have been, this time just stay with you. My wicked feet destroyed me once and carried me away. But here I come, here I belong, here only will I stay. I’ll stay.

You say I’m worth fighting for and promise there’s so much more than the pain I feel. Oh, tell me what is real. I know what my heart is feeling. I know what my ears are hearing. And fighting gravity is pure insanity. We’re fading faster than the frost on this windowpane and I don’t know if my heart can handle this again.
Track Name: Pockets
I will run till I bleed. I found no place where I can rest my feet. Beause the day I said I decided to be me, Dad said “find yourself another home.”

But homeless, alone, maybe I could be clean. Jagged tears, holding on. I’m left waiting here for love to rescue me, running on someone else’s steam.

I don’t heal. I don’t see. I don’t think love is what they told me it should be. That said, my hope is gone.

If I bleed, do I win? If I bleed, do I win? If I bleed, will anyone rescue me? If not, I don’t think love could mean anything.

Am I a man? Am I a beast? Am I anything? Do I mean anything to anything?
Track Name: The Moments That Felt Like Heaven
I know your heart felt wrong this morning. You couldn’t decide if it felt like a fire or a frost, but most of the summer felt like winter and most of the winter felt like hell. I’m sure you’ve been trying your hardest to remember him. you knew it, believed with all your heart that he was the only thing keeping you alive, that you would die without him. but it’s been one hundred and sixty-two days since he was by your side and even though you can barely breathe, you still spend the first half hour in bed at night seeing his chest move slowly and bravely up and down. You always tried to breathe like that; maybe one day when you’re all grown up and can fit into the loafers he left behind. Without him you’re poor in spirit, and you sure feel humble and weak and trampled upon. And you’ve always had to lie and steal to survive. But how many times can a kid lie or steal until he’s kicked out of Heaven for good? With every story you weave, you feel a tremor in the floor, like it’s just going to crumble beneath you any instant, and that’s how you’ll go. But do you remember that book Daddy read to you those nights in that hotel room? Those were the moments that felt like Heaven.
Track Name: Speak Love
I saw you reaching out tonight, arms wide, but not the way they once were. With your holey, holy hands, You touch us all. You hold us all. You love us all. But how do you do it? Seems like I try and try and try and try and try, but threat comes and I fight it and it fights back and my whole world falls apart. It all falls apart. What a mess my hands can make. Mine lack the holes that yours boast, but I still watch hope slip through. It pours out before you like an offering, but I’m not really sure that it counts. I want to be the one who never fully finds you out, but feels you flowing through me, finding flaws in almost everyone, but forgiveness comes. My God, forgiveness comes.

I saw you reaching out tonight, fingertips creeping to the ends of the Earth. I guess it’s not just about us anymore, and I think that’s something to be proud of. I mean, this is a great place, but it’s not my heart and it’s not home. Just colonists here, but we’re never alone. And our love is spreading like wildfire. Citizens rising from the ashes of their lost hopes, held in a misread book with a face with a beauty that’s fleeting. And now they’re here with you and me, alive and well. A prison earthquake escape from that awful hell that once held me motionless. Now their tired eyes look up to you, and they look up to me too.

So speak love through me now.

I couldn’t compose myself, I guess it’s best that you composed me. I’m a poem, I’m an art form, I’m your twenty trillionth masterpiece. So where will you have me go? I’ll go there. I think it’s time that you let me know, but I’ll wait. I think I’m a giant ball of potential, but I’m lost. Say the word and I’m on my way. Never again on the edge of another boat. Tell me jump, okay, but you gotta tell me how high. So I fly, eyes closed. You guide me, I’m happy. I want that more than anything. You know this, just send me. I guess I don’t know what I want in life, and I won’t feel right until I’m told I’m right.

So speak love through me now.
Track Name: Always You
It was always you. It had to be you. And it was always me. It had to be me and you, let’s fly together.

But there was always her. It had to be her. It was always her then me then you. I’m here to say that I’m sorry.

But you carried me. You carried me. You carried me all broken to my home. When I was well again, I cursed you and I left you there alone. I cut the rope to say “I don’t need you anymore.” But oh my God, I need you now.
Track Name: Come Awake
Sweat it out, kid, sweat it out. Let out every ounce of every broken thought you’ve bundled up in the deepest vacance of your heart. It’ll hurt, kid know it will.

It'll hurt kid, knowit will. And when your bad blood finds its way to the floor, it will become a viper and you will have to fight it and crush it before it slithers its way and readies its fangs for your family and friends and yet unborn kids. You’ll gather up fire and love and mold them into weapons to keep hope awake and keep the nothing at bay. Aim for the head, kid, aim for the head.

Aim for the head, kid, aim for the head. Be sure to shake off all the chains for spider webs spun all around while you were sleeping. Link by link assembled in the darkness of the night. But your skin felt fire and it burns like heaven and no witch could ever convince you that her dank little cave is truer than the sunshine and new soil and the lion who touched you and burned you to gold.

Come awake.
Come awake.
Come awake and smile.
Track Name: Sender
Sender to receiver: Where are you? Are you coming back for me anytime soon? I’m lost without and I miss you, but there’s this noise I can’t get past, so where are you? Will you break these wall s down and show up in your old crown, the one that I forgot? The one that reminds me to listen to everything hissing and hooting and hollering, hoping you’ll come around? ‘Cause when you come around the spring will spring and winter finds its bloody end from in the ground.

Sender, I love you, but I’m caught up in the evil that I do. I’ve been carrying this baggage by the truckload. I can’t do this. Will you break these walls down? Daddy, Daddy, I need you. I know I’m the one who ran away, but I need you to pour out your old grace on my poor face and my calloused hands and bring me to stand on some new land. It’s too much to ask, but oh my God, I need you.

Cause I know I can’t do this on my own.
Track Name: Hands Like Flowers
Finally, I need you. I finally see you’re here to rescue me. What was I thinking? Fight for me and I’ll be still. And with my heart free, I’ll praise you.

I’ll raise my hands like flowers, that I might say I love you. Hammer down these walls till I’m there, so glad to see you here. I know that you’ve longed for this aroma, I just hope that I can make you smile. This is romance.

It’s time for tears on cheeks now. All the words I said are past and gone away. But you never let go; never.

So I’ll raise my hands like flowers, that I might say I love you. Arrive all shaved and showered; I’ll be my best for you. I know that you long just to hold me; I just hope that I can make you smile. This is romance.